Few things are as terrifying as turning around in a public place and realizing your child is gone. For parents of children who elope—or run away from a safe space or caregiver—this fear can be a constant reality. Elopement is more than just a child wandering off out of curiosity; it’s a persistent behavior that can pose serious safety risks.
If you find yourself constantly saying, “My child won’t stop running away,” you’re not alone. This behavior is especially common among children with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), but it can affect many families. Understanding why your child elopes is the first step toward managing the behavior effectively.
This guide is here to help. We’ll explore the common reasons behind elopement, provide practical safety strategies you can implement right away, and discuss how to address the root cause of the behavior. With the right tools and support, you can create a safer environment for your child and bring more peace of mind to your family.
Why Do Children Elope?
Every child is different, and the reasons for elopement can vary. Identifying the “why” behind the behavior is crucial for developing an effective plan. In behavior analysis, this “why” is called the function of the behavior. Most often, elopement serves one of four primary functions.
To Escape or Avoid a Demand
Sometimes, a child runs away to get out of doing something they don’t want to do. This could be anything from leaving a fun place like a playground to starting a non-preferred task like homework or chores. The environment might feel overwhelming, too loud, or socially demanding, and running away is their way of escaping that discomfort. If elopement happens most often during transitions or when a task is presented, this might be the reason.
To Gain Access to Something
Often, a child elopes to get to something they want. This could be a favorite toy they see in a store, a park across the street, or a person they want to see. This form of elopement is goal-oriented. The child isn’t necessarily running from you; they are running to a specific item or location that has caught their attention.
To Get Attention
For some children, elopement can be a powerful way to get a reaction from caregivers. When a child runs off, they almost always receive immediate, intense attention. Parents and caregivers stop everything they are doing, call the child’s name, and chase after them. Even if the attention is negative (like scolding), it’s still attention. If your child looks back at you, smiles, or laughs while running, they might be seeking this kind of social interaction.
For Sensory Stimulation
The simple act of running can be enjoyable for many children. It provides a burst of physical energy and sensory input that can feel good. In this case, the child may not be running to or from anything in particular. They simply enjoy the sensation of movement. This type of elopement can seem to happen out of the blue, without any clear trigger.
Creating a Safety Plan for Elopement
While you work on understanding and addressing the root cause of the behavior, your immediate priority is to ensure your child’s safety. A comprehensive safety plan is essential for any family dealing with elopement.
Make Your Home Secure
Start by making your home as secure as possible to prevent your child from leaving unsupervised.
- Install Alarms: Place alarms on all exterior doors and windows that will chime whenever they are opened. This gives you an immediate alert if your child is trying to leave.
- Use Locks: Consider installing deadbolts or locks that require a key on both sides, placing them high out of your child’s reach. For interior doors, childproof doorknob covers can also be effective.
- Secure Yards: If you have a yard, ensure it is securely fenced with a gate that latches firmly. Regularly check for any gaps or weaknesses in the fence.
Safety in the Community
When you’re out, staying vigilant is key.
- Use Visual Cues: Brightly colored clothing can make your child easier to spot in a crowd.
- Hold Hands: In busy or unfenced areas, make it a rule to always hold hands. For younger children or those who pull away, a safety harness or wrist strap can provide extra security.
- Inform Others: If you’re visiting friends, family, or a new location, let them know about your child’s tendency to elope so they can help keep an eye out.
Identification and Technology
Prepare for the worst-case scenario by ensuring your child can be identified if they get lost.
- ID Bracelets: Have your child wear an ID bracelet or necklace with their name, your phone number, and any important information, such as “non-verbal” or “autistic.”
- Temporary Tattoos: You can also get temporary tattoos with your contact information for outings.
- GPS Trackers: Wearable GPS tracking devices can provide real-time information on your child’s location, offering a significant layer of security and peace of mind.
Strategies to Reduce Elopement Behavior
Once your safety plan is in place, you can focus on proactive strategies to reduce the frequency of elopement. These approaches often involve teaching new skills and changing the environment.
Teach Functional Communication
If your child runs to escape or get something, they may not have a better way to communicate their needs. Teaching them functional communication is a powerful tool.
- Practice Asking for a Break: Teach your child to say “break, please,” use a sign, or hand you a picture card when they feel overwhelmed and need a moment.
- Teach How to Ask for Things: Similarly, teach them to ask for the items they want instead of running to get them. For example, practice asking, “Can I go to the park?”
When your child uses their new communication skill, honor their request immediately. This reinforces that communication works better than running away.
Enrich the Environment
Make the “safe” environment more appealing so your child has less motivation to leave.
- Incorporate Interests: Include your child’s favorite toys, activities, and interests in your immediate environment. If you’re at home, have a designated “calm-down corner” with preferred items.
- Offer Choices: Give your child a sense of control by offering choices throughout the day. This could be as simple as, “Do you want to wear the red shirt or the blue shirt?”
Reinforce Staying Close
Use positive reinforcement to reward your child for staying with you.
- Praise and Rewards: Offer frequent praise, high-fives, or small rewards like a sticker when your child stays close to you in public.
- Make it a Game: Turn staying close into a game, like “Red Light, Green Light,” or see if they can walk on a specific line next to you.
Your Path Forward with Kids Club ABA
Managing elopement can be challenging and emotionally draining, but you don’t have to do it alone. Understanding the function of the behavior and implementing consistent strategies can make a significant difference. Remember to be patient with your child and with yourself.
If you’re looking for more structured support, a team of professionals can help. At Kids Club ABA, we specialize in creating individualized behavior plans that address challenging behaviors like elopement. Our evidence-based approach focuses on understanding your child’s unique needs and teaching them the skills they need to thrive safely. Contact Kids Club ABA today to learn how we can support your family’s journey.
